“Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.” These wise words from Harriet B. Braiker, author of Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life, provides a backdrop for the kind of conflict resolution styles that serve organizations best. Human beings are complex by nature and each person has their own unique way of handling conflict resolution informed by the intrinsic traits of their personality. When an uncomfortable situation arises how do you handle it? Within the corporate world, there are several instances in which we have to engage in a meaningful way to “keep the peace.” There are styles of resolving interpersonal conflict that will serve all parties involved best relative to the situation at hand. Advertising Advertising There are 5 different models of conflict resolution styles typically orchestrated in the workplace while trying to navigate the landmines of conflicting corporate interests. According to David B. Cohen, author of a workbook questionnaire that gets to the heart of your conflict resolution style with open-ended queries that accompany the textbook Industrial-Organizational Psychology an Applied Approach, you can fall under any one of the following archetypes. Are you a sage, diplomat, ostrich, philanthropist, or warrior when it comes to dealing with problems at the office? What can you do to improve the environment where you work?
1. The Sage
This conflict resolution style is definitely lauded above all others and values collaboration with all parties involved. The sage wants everybody’s needs and concerns met and you can typically tell when a leader celebrates this particular mode of communication in their company if they like to hold company-wide meetings with employees on every level. These open-ended discussions about blind-spots that need to be addressed in the company are viewed as an opportunity to improve internal operations. This is to signal to their team that everyone’s input matters, whether they’re an intern or upper management. Otherwise known as a win-win compromiser the sage is a master in fostering working relationships with mutual respect, trust, and willingness to hear everyone out that creates a team-oriented workplace culture.
The diplomat usually takes the win-some, lose-some approach to handling conflicts. This particular method of conflict resolution tends to be a bit more self-serving in that while they are willing to hear everyone’s position out on a particular disagreement the solution usually benefits them more so than the other parties involved. Through exercising diplomacy more often than not a middle ground is reached through negotiations that involve both sides willing to give up a little bit of agency to benefit the company. For example, say employees bring up the fact that their salaries don’t match the added responsibilities of a new position but the company can’t afford pay raises due to losses faced during the height of the pandemic last year. The diplomat will assuage concerns by perhaps offering extra paid time off as a placeholder to recognize the hard work of their team without sacrificing the bottom line and potentially sinking the company they worked so hard to build into bankruptcy.
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This conflict resolution style is one of the worst types to have if you’re trying to lead your team successfully. If you’re an ostrich you probably find yourself avoiding difficult situations altogether. An old myth used to claim when ostriches feel scared and threatened they plunge their heads deep into the sand until the potential threat has left the vicinity. This isn’t how the real world works since conflict left unattended usually snowballs into an even bigger issue. For example, say you work in HR and one of your female co-workers brings up an issue regarding sexual harassment in the workplace from upper-management. This is historically a very uncomfortable situation to address. However, if you let it linger and avoid reprimanding this reprehensible behavior from someone in a prominent position of power for fear you may jeopardize your own job you risk the chance your co-worker may feel undervalued and this unchecked behavior can sink the entire company’s reputation.
The philanthropist tends to be the office doormat. They often bend over backward to please everyone when conflict arises often at the detriment of their own needs that have yet to be met. This style of conflict resolution usually ends in an “I lose, you win” scenario. One example of this could be multiple employees requesting the same block of time off for vacation. In order to keep things copacetic, you approve everyone’s request to take off—leaving you with a heap of extra responsibilities to take on just so you can be viewed as the nice boss. This kind of martyr behavior will only build resentment on your end over time and possibly turn you off from any sort of leadership role in the future.
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If you take a warrior approach to tackle problems in the workplace you’re likely to use any means necessary to get what you want. Someone with a warrior mindset only has their best interests at heart and will resort to manipulation tactics to meet them. This kind of narcissistic conflict resolution style can serve leaders well in quickly rising the ranks short-term, but analyzing this tactic big-picture often ends badly since this leadership style sows mistrust in the organization as a whole. It’s much better to encourage collaboration on all fronts or else you’ll find yourself working with a team that is too frightened to speak up and implement positive changes with a bottom-up approach.
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Dr. Barbara Benoliel
Though conflict is a normal and natural part of any workplace, it can lead to absenteeism, lost productivity, and mental health issues. At the same time, conflict can be a motivator that generates new ideas and innovation as well as leads to increased flexibility and a better understanding of working relationships. However, conflict needs to be effectively managed in order to contribute to the success of organizations.
A critical competency for today’s working professionals is to understand that we each have our own way of dealing with conflict. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), used by human resource (HR) professionals around the world, there are five major styles of conflict management—collaborating, competing, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising.
“Each strategy has its own benefits; there is no right or wrong conflict management style,” says Dr. Barbara Benoliel, a certified professional mediator and mitigation specialist and faculty member for the PhD in Human and Social Services program at Walden University. “Understanding how you instinctively respond to conflicts as well as having increased awareness of other management styles may help how you typically approach specific situations and lead to efficient and effective conflict resolution.”
Five Major Conflict Management Styles*
Knowing when and how to use each style can help control conflict and lead to an improved working environment, resulting in a better bottom line.
Collaborating Style: A combination of being assertive and cooperative, those who collaborate attempt to work with others to identify a solution that fully satisfies everyone’s concerns. In this style, which is the opposite of avoiding, both sides can get what they want and negative feelings are minimized. “Collaborating works best when the long-term relationship and outcome are important—for example, planning for integrating two departments into one, where you want the best of both in the newly formed department,” Dr. Benoliel says.
Competing Style: Those who compete are assertive and uncooperative and willing to pursue one’s own concerns at another person’s expense. Dr. Benoliel explains using this style works when you don’t care about the relationship but the outcome is important, such as when competing with another company for a new client. But, she cautions, “Don’t use competing inside your organization; it doesn’t build relationships.”
Avoiding Style: Those who avoid conflict tend to be unassertive and uncooperative while diplomatically sidestepping an issue or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation. “Use this when it is safer to postpone dealing with the situation or you don’t have as great a concern about the outcome, such as if you have a conflict with a co-worker about their ethics of using FaceTime on the job.”
Accommodating Style: The opposite of competing, there is an element of self-sacrifice when accommodating to satisfy the other person. While it may seem generous, it could take advantage of the weak and cause resentment. “You can use accommodating when you really don’t care a lot about the outcome but do want to preserve or build the relationship,” Dr. Benoliel says, “such as going out for lunch with the boss and agreeing, ‘If you want to go for Thai food for lunch, that’s OK with me.’”
Compromising Style: This style aims to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties in the conflict while maintaining some assertiveness and cooperativeness. “This style is best to use when the outcome is not crucial and you are losing time; for example, when you want to just make a decision and move on to more important things and are willing to give a little to get the decision made,” Dr. Benoliel says. “However,” she adds, “be aware that no one is really satisfied.”
“It’s incredibly important to not be afraid when conflict arises because there are things you can do, such as becoming more skilled and qualified by building a repertoire for responding to reduce conflict,” says Dr. Benoliel.
Walden University offers a PhD in Human and Social Services program with a specialization in Conflict Management and Negotiation as well as a Graduate Certificate in Conflict Management and Negotiation for professionals across all industries.
Discover your default conflict management style with this online assessment.
*K. Thomas and R. Kilmann, An Overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), Kilmann Diagnostics, on the internet at www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki.